eSCAping Type 1

Like the one in the title? Yup…

It always helps to understand why something is the way it is. So many people were taught simply to memorize grammar rules; you use this word here because that’s proper English and that’s that. And when you don’t know the purpose behind a rule, you’re more likely to break it. Why spend time thinking about something you don’t care about?

Well, because I care. And since you’re your writing is a direct, personal reflection, you should probably care, too. Whether it’s a Facebook post or a work email, remember, way more people are now judging you than just your high school English teacher. 

Now, I can get passed past spelling. But adults using the wrong word absolutely kills me. Saying “there” instead of “their” is like saying “pickle” when you should say “monkey” – it’s not a simple spelling mistake, your you’re using the wrong word ENTIRELY.

So, let me briefly explain my Top 6 Grammatical Pet Peeves in hopes that you learn something, whether to use in your own writing or to smugly correct others. Whatever it takes to make the world a better place, right?

1. Your/You’re and There/Their/They’re

I understand how apostrophes can be confusing because they have too two purposes: to show possession (Megan’s book) OR to eliminate letters (don’t vs. do not). That’s why so many people confuse your/you’re and their/they’re.

In this case, their & your are showing ownership, while they’re & you’re are contractions with the apostrophe replacing the letter a in “are.” With these two words, the apostrophe does NOT indicate possession. There usually refers to a location (it’s got the word “here” in it), or it could be a pronoun when introducing a word or phrase (There is a lot of space between the words a and lot.).

The trick is actually slowing down and thinking about what makes sense, which can be annoying, but soon it’ll just come naturally. Plus, their has an “I” in it, which might help you remember which one is possessive.

1.5 Too many To’s

I wasn’t even gonna going to include this, but when I couldn’t go a day without seeing this mistake on Facebook, I knew I had too to add it. Most people understand that two is referring to the number. However, for some reason, people love adding an extra o onto to. 

You almost always just want too to use the word to. It’s a preposition that actually has a ton of meanings… Too is an adverb that ONLY ever means “excessively” or “also.” There are too many people in this room. I’m going there, too. She is too funny.

So, please, start using to. Typing that extra o might seem like just a simple spelling error, but remember, your you’re using the wrong word, which means you’re your entire sentence makes no sense.

2. A Lot

A lot is two words. Alot is not a word. You wouldn’t write alittle. And “allot” has another meaning entirely that probably wasn’t you’re your intention.

Again, their there is no such word as alot.

3. Affect or Effect?

Affect is a verb (something you do, an Action), Effect is a noun (a thing, the rEsult).

Quick mini-lesson on articles – the part of speech used to introduce a noun (the house, a person, an animal). If you see the or an right before it, the word used should be effect since you don’t use articles with verbs. Even if their there is a sneaky adjective in they’re there (like “The Unnecessary Effect of Ataxia Anxiety“).

4. Me vs. I

Ah. We’ve all seen it. Someone tries to sound smart by saying I but really it backfires because they should be using Me. (Ha, I read it, I hear it, moving on…) Or they wrongly correct you. SMH.

You see, both are pronouns, so you actually have to determine the object and subject in your sentence – am I doing something, or is something happening to me? BUT if this still confuses you, just delete the other person involved and see if it still makes sense.

For example, Vote for Cody and I should really be Vote for me and Cody. I’m not doing the voting – someone else is, it’s just happening to me. Also, if you take Cody out of it, you wouldn’t say Vote for I, you’d say Vote for me (and now I’m doing nothing of the sort because you have poor grammar).

On the other hand, it’s correct to say Cody and I are going shopping, since I am the one shopping, and you wouldn’t say Me is going shopping. Unless you’re Jar Jar Binks.

5. Who vs. Whom

Now, I snuck Who/Whom in here because although nobody says “whom” without sounding pompous, it’s still worth knowing.

Similarly, who refers to the subject of a sentence (the noun doing the verb), while whom refers to the object (the noun receiving the verb). But there’s another simple trick: If you can answer the question by saying “he” then use who, whereas if you answer with “him” use whom.

So, this time of year, a coworker might ask, “Who do you have for Secret Santa?” Luckily you can get by with just correcting them, rather than ruining the upcoming party. Since you would hypothetically answer, “I have him” and not “he,” they should’ve said, “Whom do you have for Secret Santa?”  That guy is the object to your action – he’s literally receiving, and not doing anything.

However, if your coworker instead asks, “Who has you for Secret Santa?” that is correct, since he (not him) might have you. In this case, he’s the subject, your you’re the object.

6. Good or Well?

Last but certainly not least, we have good vs. well. Kinda kind of like affect and effect, you actually have too two different parts of speech hear here. Good is an adjective – it describes a noun, a thing. Well is an adverb, which describes a verb, an action.

It’s tricky, because when someone asks, “How are you?” either response is technically right! You, a person (noun) are good, and you’re doing (verb) well. You scored well on an exam since it was easy and good. Your friend stayed home because he’s not feeling well, and just doesn’t look good. Many people say this blog is good because it’s written well.

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And – I really cannot stress this enough – PLEASE reread what you write before sending or posting it! I’ll say it again – PROOFREAD! One more time for the people in the back – DOUBLE CHECK your work!

The amount of times I read these blog posts before publishing is almost embarrassing. They take me at least a week to write because I reread it every time I add something. Then I read it again once it is published – from a phone AND a laptop. And then again each time someone comments. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s three sentences or three pages; I PROMISE rereading and revising will help you sound better. Actually, do this especially if it’s only three sentences. Or shorter. You have fewer words to make an impression, they better be right.

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One final note: Do everyone a favor and download Grammarly. Right now. It’s a FREE app that automatically checks your grammar, spelling, wording, punctuation, etc. no matter what you are typing. Emails, Instagram captions, Facebook comments, blog posts, ANYTHING. I love it, & I know you will, to too.

PS: Stay tuned for an upcoming “lesson” on punctuation and commas, because going on Facebook actually makes me loose lose my mind. And if their there is something your you’re curious about, please post a comment below!