SOMETHING is better than NOTHING
Good Enough is Perfect
That phrase has changed my life. I know that sounds dramatic but I swear it’s true. And I know people will read this post and think, “Well, duh, Meg. That saying is stupid and obvious. Most of us have thought this way forever.” But I’m convinced that even if my story only helps one reader, it was worth sharing and I did my job.
Now, before I dive into this, I must give Miss KC Davis some proper credit, since I learned everything from her. Please visit this post for a brief bio and explanation of “How to Keep House While Drowning.” She’s worth looking into, I swear.
Ok, so, for my whole life, I believed something either had to be done completely perfectly or not at all
There’s no point in exercising for 20 min today if I don’t have a consistent set time for it every day. Don’t raise your hand at all in class if you aren’t going to participate tomorrow. Why sweep the kitchen floor if you’re not also wiping down every single counter? You shouldn’t only drink one glass of water at night if you didn’t consume the proper amount throughout the day.
It seems like a “lazy” mentality, but it’s actually really stressful and demoralizing.
And this feeling only amplified when my Ataxia symptoms started to progress. Becoming a spoonie really freaked me out. Don’t waste your energy on only a small part of a task – save it for something more important. Why only unload the silverware in the dishwasher if you can’t lift the heavy pots, too? There’s no point in vacuuming one room if you don’t have the stamina to just do them all.
Struggling with one part of a task quickly turned into me just not doing any of it.
A partially clean room is NOT a clean house. Good enough is NOT perfect. You can’t be “done” if you only did one tiny thing.
Again, if you can’t do something fully and completely right then you shouldn’t do it at all.
Ugh.
Alas, can’t change my body, but I can change my mindset. Soooo I stopped believing that awful internal ableism and started listening to KC Davis instead.
And, even though I still struggled with “good enough is perfect,” I fully jumped onto the SOMETHING is better than NOTHING bandwagon.
One folded laundry pile is better than none. Hell, one folded t-shirt is better than none. Am I done? Nope! Is it perfect? Nope! Will anyone even be able to tell? Nope!
But did I accomplish something? Yup! Was I a teeny tiny bit productive today? Yup! Will I do it again tomorrow? Probably? Maybe I’ll even go crazy and fold two things?!
I had to learn that it’s ok to change your own standards about yourself. That doing something differently from how you’re “supposed to do it” doesn’t make it wrong. That words like “clean” and “healthy” and “productive” are personal, individual measurements – not universal standards. To stop comparing myself to other people.
One cup of water is better than just coffee and Diet Coke all day – you made a healthy decision! Wiping down just the microwave means your kitchen is cleaner than it was earlier. Exercising randomly for 20 min isn’t exactly an efficient fitness routine, but it’s still better than not working out at all…
Let’s try it! Did you eat any fruit yet today? Not yet, but you will? Your yogurt had lemon in it, so that counts? Luckily your answer doesn’t really matter.
Go open your fridge right now, grab ONE grape/berry/whatever, and throw it in your mouth. Done!
You don’t have to peel it or cut it or even wash it. You don’t have to carefully put a bunch in a small bowl. You don’t have to deal with a single utensil.
Now, Old Meg would have thought that was a stupid, pointless waste of time. She wouldn’t have left the couch. Not for one measly piece of fruit. It’s not even close to a full serving; it doesn’t count.
But New Meg is starting to accept that SOMETHING is better than NOTHING. Eating one single blueberry is having more fruit and being healthier than Old Meg.
It’s helpful viewing unfinished tasks as ongoing goals that you’re constantly working toward, that way your day is full of small successes instead of failures.
And remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect, just good enough.
Your blog spoke to me. I’m in that frame of mind, why bother doing that thing if I can’t do it all. But then I think of that saying How do you eat a elephant, bit by bit. Great for other people but not me especially when its housework or self care. But your blog has made me think. It might take me longer (I struggle with this) I’m going to try this, something is better than nothing. Having ataxia changes our way of doing things anyway
Ugh this blog post is so apt. Thank you as always.